I wrote this several weeks ago, but got distracted and am only posting now…
Tuesday, I was fortunate enough to get out and hang out with some new moms throughout the morning. Around 3, I got really tired, so I decided to come home and possibly catch a nap with Cedar. Upon arriving home, I saw that our front door was locked (this is the good part), but could not find the one set of keys that Sean usually stashes in our usual spot when he leaves. I phoned him to ask if he had changed the spot.
“Crap!” was the first thing he said. Self-beratement followed. He had forgotten to stash them. He had them with him. And he had just left for town. He wouldn’t be home for a while. Months earlier my pregnant, working self would have probably punished him for this mistake for several hours. I might have complained, huffed, or given him some silent treatment when he got home. In short, I usually get quite flustered about these things [read: quite pissed]. We could get into my selfness, but let’s be honest, I don’t want to do that. 😀 I’d rather list the ways staying at home has apparently been very healthy for me.
Getting to be a “Work at Home Mom” with Cedar has been good for me and my family because:
– When Sean locks me out of the house, I laugh and say, “Oh I thought that might have happened. Okay. No worries.” I proceed to feed Cedar, change her diaper, and she sleeps in the wrap – outside. No. Big. Deal. In fact we had a great evening perhaps because she got so much “outdoor” time. Plus I had water (thank you rain barrel) and a toilet (outdoor bathroom!), so no big deal. Dinner was a bit delayed, but that’s normal these days. When Sean came home all apologetic and sorry, I was happy to see him, but only because I was happy to see him. I begged him to not worry about it. As we walked in the house together, we both remarked how we needed to get another set of keys.
– Our house. Oh let me tell you about our house. It’s not always clean. And it’s not always tidy. But when we have guests over, and there’s a pile of dishes, I don’t freak out. Because I don’t have to try and wash dishes before going to work. I can wash them at 5 am, or 8 am or 10 am (hopefully before then, otherwise I do go bonkers!).
– Sean. He really, really likes that I’m here at home to care for Cedar and squeeze in some other home work too. He likes that I try to keep it tidy. He likes that I can wash the dishes. He likes that I am more relaxed. He likes that he doesn’t he me stressing about “We need to eat healthier food, but I just don’t have time! Can you please help me?!”
– I’m more relaxed. Could it be this cutie pie I get to snuggle? Could it be that my “to-dos” are flexible instead of a more-rigid work schedule? Could it be because I get naps sometimes?
– I get naps sometimes. And they’re guilt-free naps (huge!). I have zero qualms about laying down for 20 minutes or 2 hours with Cedar in the afternoon. Because I know I’ll still be working at 7 pm, and maybe 9pm, and certainly 2am, and then again at 5 am. I’m a really happy person when I nap. I feel like I’m cheating life!
– We eat healthier food with less stress. I’ve always tried to have us eat healthy – from scratch, or special breads with soaked grains, or soak our beans before cooking, etc. But that stuff takes time and planning. I tried doing it while I was working, and certainly while I was pregnant & working, but it came with a bit more anxiety. I was often more, well, stressed about the whole deal. Now, one of my primary “jobs” is to feed us quality food.
– I’m home with our daughter. I get to snuggle her, bond with her, feed her at every feed. I notice if she’s feeling off, or extra cranky. I hope I’d notice the moment she ever starts to get sick. All those wonderful, true statements about the greatest need of a child in her first 6 months is probably her mother – I believe them. And our child and I sure are enjoying ourselves, which means Sean is enjoying both of us.
– Less stress. Largely, because I’m doing exactly what is good for all of us.
Sean & I haven’t exactly decided what life will look like when maternity leave ends for me, but for now, we know how good it is to be right where we are.