By 6:15 on Wednesday morning, the sun was already in full glory, waking up those few stragglers who hadn’t started their days. I was bumping down our road, en route to the hospital for my weekly doula shift. As I prayed over the day, the mothers I would meet, the staff I’d work with, and that I could just be present, I also wondered how my siSwati would hold up. Would I remember that new, complicated phrase Nolwazi had reviewed over and over with me? Would I have the right words that would bring comfort to these moms?
Nicole, you’re doing it. You’re going to work and speaking another language. You’re speaking another language, albeit NOT fluent, but it’s coming! Hah! You’re living in another country. You’re living your dream.
I easily forget this. I can get wrapped in complaint, exhaustion, or selfishness and totally forget to remember I’m living this dream I’ve imagined for years. This dream put on my heart by a God who cares for all people, everywhere. This dream of adventure written on my feet by One who never invites us into a dull, complacent, boring life, but a wild, crazy adventure. I can’t say my life has been boring or dull; most days it holds too much excitement. Yet The Lord wrote these works in the palms of my hands 29 years ago in my mother’s womb. And He’s building me up to crescendo each morning as I roll out of bed. There’s some great thing I’m living for each day. Although these great things are often small, unnoticed and no thanks is offered for them. Yet, I’ve lately felt like icing thanks for them. I’ve seen a King amongst the small, silly, tiny moments and details. He is there. And I’m paying attention.
That morning, I wanted to write a blog about living our dreams. That sometimes we’re living them, but forget to notice. Like always dreaming of being a mother since you were a girl, and forgetting amongst the mess and terrible twos that this was your sacred dream. Or maybe fighting back the darkness through your career that seems to bring the most light into your world. Or marriage being the dream that seemed to die inside you so quickly, and you didn’t notice how you let a dream become a nightmare. Because we often think dreams will be easy. Dream homes. Dream cars. Dream spouses. Dream children. Dream jobs.
Let me tell you. I’ve had all the dreams in those categories (except children), and the dream things are hard to live. They’re really hard. Marriage with even your best friend is really hard. Living in the dream house (yes my current one) is challenging and time-consuming. My dream jobs (one past, one current) have threatened to drain my soul completely. So don’t go thinking dreams are easy. There’s a reason we need a little fight in us to pursue a dream. They don’t just float to us on perfect clouds. And once they’re here, you don’t just float around either. The depth to which you sink into the dream determines the amount of life you’ve got to give. But. But.
Oh to live your dream.
Deeply, truly it resonates in you. The goodness of being who you were made to be if only for a moment. The hand that wraps around your heart, your gut, and pulls at you deeply, causing an “Oh!” To slip out. In a groan of knowness, a whisper of this-is-so-good, a deep, truly alive expression of joy. OH!
But also, we’ve got to examine which dream we’re living? Is it my dream? or someone else’s? Is it the dream crafted and created and tucked into the palms of your hand by The Creator? Or one you’ve twisted to serve you?
Someone who says it better than I has said it, so read her words. (Forgive the link. I tried copying and pasting, but she’s like a famous author and must have her Facebook protected or something. Or maybe I’m too silly to know how to do it!)
“Come, let us tell of the Lord’s greatness; let us exalt His name together.”