Two months. Two months left with cheap minutes to call the people I love. Two months until I’m stuck in an airplane for almost 20 hours. Two months until I haul two packs and one giant suitcase. And feel ridiculous for having ‘too much.’ In two months I’ll have decided which clothes I’m going to wear and re-wear and wear again. 🙂 I’ll know how we’re getting from J-burg to Swaziland and where we’ll meet Sam. We’ll know when Sam’s meeting up with us! In two months I’ll promise to call my parents or email or send smoke signals when we’re in South Africa.
In two months. I’ll probably cry. And Sean will hand me tissues. I’ll cry from fear of the unknown, fear of failing at my dreams. I’ll cry from joy. At realizing my dream. And getting to experience it with my best friend. I’ll cry because anything IS possible, and my life is living proof. I’ll cry because I really did become what I wanted to be. And I’ll cry because I’ve left mother and brother(in-law) and sisters and father and neighbors. And I’ll probably cry because what I’ll be experiencing will be as close to reality as you ever get.
But, really, that’s in two months. I’ve got two months to not think about that stuff. Sure, I’ll probably pack, and I’ll be giving some of my ish away. But I’ve got a massage to go to tonight, my lover-boy to talk to, a great night of rest, some sunshine in the morning, an awesome day at work tomorrow in my garden. I’ve got more sister time to have, some good friends to talk to, and inspiring dinner table to listen to, the delight of seeing two friends join in life together, and probably some climbing to do. Crap can wait. Planes can keep flying. My stuff can still collect dust.
Conversations will not wait. People I love cannot wait. So I’m going to spend my precious time in these two months – doing the things I love, like I always do. Soaking in each moments. Enjoying each inhale. And exhale. And inhale again. I will probably smile while I’m doing it. I may cry. I will embrace my emotions, look up, and walk on.
If ‘in two months comes,’ I’ll be so glad I lived them.